XCOM: Don't Panic

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XCOM: Don't Panic
XCOM Dont Panic.jpg
XCOM: Don't Panic Thumbnail
YouTube Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPwvq_IrVMY
Date Released November 27, 2017
Length 3:38

XCOM: Don't Panic is a sketch about how sometimes panicking can be a good thing.

Description: "A grizzled XCOM vet leads a team of rookies into battle."


Actor Character
Kyle Sullivan Sergeant
Joey Basham Himself
Rachel Butcher Herself
Allison Devery Herself
Ian Conn LaserBait


The sketch begins with the Sergeant leading his team behind some cars and giving them commands through hand gestures. The man orders Joey to shoot the aliens, but he wants to use explosives. The team then begins to fire on the aliens while LaserBait runs in, with the latter getting quickly shot down by enemy lasers. Rachel then exclaims that they're all going to die before killing one of the aliens. Allison also becomes distressed about LaserBait's death and the Sergeant tells her to pull herself together, as he died doing his job - dying for them to know where the aliens are.

He then commands them to move up and they continue to shoot, however all of their shots miss. Allison begins to panic due to the astounding amount of enemies around them, shouting that she wants to go home and killing two more aliens. The Sergeant tells them again to stop panicking, as they need to hit more of their shots.

Joey then tells Sergeant that he has his guaranteed hit and holds up a grenade. Sergeant responds that Dr. Vallen needs the aliens intact, and so they can't use explosives. Another alien pops up and they shoot at it, but again, they miss all of their shots. Sergeant questions how staying calm makes their aims worse, and realizes that distressing his own soldiers might be a good strategy. He then goes up to each person on the team and manipulates them into panic so that they can shoot better. This, however, backfires as they begin to shoot each other. Joey, now out of his mind, pulls up a grenade and throws it, while the Seargeant barely escapes. An alien tries to attack him but he shoots and kills it in a panic.

The sketch ends.

Explained Jokes[edit]

  • When XCOM units panic, they will tend to do random, potentially self-destructive actions, but still have a chance to attack the enemy. This video makes fun of the fact that due to the random chances inherent in shooting in the game, it is possible to get a streak of hits from panicking units while normal attack actions fail.
  • A grenade is unique in XCOM as a guaranteed hit. There is no randomness (aside from damage) when a unit throws a grenade, and will damage the exact area the player selects.