|Date Released||December 5, 2016|
UNPREDICTABLE is a sketch that satirizes "unpredictable" plans and one-liners in movies. The sketch is part of the KGB series.
Description: "Johnny America the action hero confronts his long-time rival, Vaguely Foreign Stereotype! But this commie came prepared."
|JP De Ovando||Johnny America|
|Ian Conn||Jegor Smirnov|
Johnny America enters the scene, looking at a distant building. He is soon joined by Jegor, who calls the hero predictable, and reveals that he took a course on how to take down American action heroes. Johnny, however, looks unphased, sarcastically saying that he's glad he did that, otherwise America would still be alive.
Jegor claims that he will correct his mistake, and points a gun at him. Johhny, on the other hand, continues with his smug grin, declaring that he's one step ahead of him. The camera is then pointed to the distant building, as the music rises. Nothing happens, though.
Smirnov reveals that Johnny's sniper was killed, and says that America has to get up early to beat Jegor. The Russian stops, however, as he realizes that the phrase only works if the showdown happens during the morning, which is not the current case. The American takes the opportunity to deliver the one-liner "you might want to reset your alarm!", and takes a gun that was taped to his back. When he presses the trigger, though, nothing happens.
Jegor again reveals that he ruined Johnny's plan, showing him the stolen magazine. The American keeps his cool attitude and claims that Jegor is also not much of an enigma, telling him that he knew he would pick that place. The Russian ignores his comment and points his gun again, saying that he should've killed him last time; this time, however... he still won't kill him. Yet.
The American takes advantage of the Russian's unexplicable hesitation and yells "your mistake!", while pulling a shotgun from behind a crate. But when he shoots with it, only confetti comes out. The American gets surprised and outraged, while Jegor explains that it is an exact replica of America's original gun, but with confetti instead of ammo. When asked for why didn't he just take the weapon, the Russian replies by saying that there wouldn't be any confetti.
Johnny America finally admits his defeat, but reveals that he has a Dead-Man Switch connected to Jegor's stolen files. If America somehow disappears, all Russian secrets go public. Smirnov, however, doesn't get intimidated, saying that the data was all fake - he replaced it with a video of the American singing a pop song. Johnny, with his jaw dropped, asks if he's serious. The Russian responds by saying that he's always serious, though America points out that he put confetti in his gun. Jegor only says, "didn't smile once".
After all is said and done, Smirnov points his gun once more and claims that the hero doesn't have any more tricks up his sleeves. The American, however, screams "sleeves are for wimps!", while ripping his pants, pulling two machineguns, and shooting at Jegor. The Russian falls to the ground, and America makes a cool pose.
A montage of Johnny getting praised then occurs, showing images of him standing with celebrities. In the last picture, however, the actor standing next to him (Arnold Schwarznegger) removes a mask, and reveals himself to actually be Jegor. The Russian exclaims that he can't escape from him, though America points out that he's legally dead and all his assets are gone. Smirnov goes silent, and reveals that he didn't think of that. Johnny smugly comments that "life can sure be... unpredictable", though the communist calls his bluff and says that he ran out of one-liners. The hero, frustrated, says that he didn't think he would need one.
The sketch ends.