Seller Beware

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Seller Beware
YT SellerBeware.jpg
Seller Beware Thumbnail
YouTube Link
Date Released January 23, 2017
Length 2:40
Game Generic Fantasy RPGs, Skyrim

Seller Beware is a sketch that satirizes merchants in RPGs (especially Skyrim). Starring Kyle and Jefferey as wandering merchants and Joey as a travelling adventurer. This is the first Door Monster video to be shot in 4K resolution.

Description: "Two merchants bond over their recent experiences dealing with an annoying customer. Also, first video ever shot in 4k resolution, woo!"


Actor Character
Kyle Sullivan Merchant 1
Jefferey Neely Merchant 2
Joey Basham Travelling Adventurer


Two merchants meet on a road in the woods. They greet each other and lament the ridiculousness of their travelling, and their failing businesses. Both merchants have lost all of their money to an adventurer that forced them to buy large quantities of objectively worthless stuff. They then complain about the mannerisms of the traveller like not buying anything despite being rich and interrupting dialog.

As merchant 2 expounds his backstory, and adventurer arrives attempts to sell some goods to the merchants. Merchant 2 is receptive, but Merchant 1 quickly objects, pointing out that this adventurer is the cause of their misfortune. The Adventurer then tricks Merchant 2 into letting him buy some potions, which he does, only to immediately get his money back by selling the worthless animal hides. The Adventurer then sets his sights on Merchant 1, who immediately rejects any trade, but is tempted by a magical dagger.

The adventurer explains that he found the sword in a box in a cave. Then asks the merchants to stay where they are so he can sell them smelly troll loincloths, and then later some vulture parts. At this point, the merchants silently agree to attempt to kill the adventurer. This cuts to them selling the armor, gear and body parts of the presumed dead adventurer.


  • The adventurer attacks nothing in the background, and later jumps for no reason while travelling. These are common RPG behaviours, as players often fiddle with the buttons haphazardly while trying to get from place to place.
  • "How is that even possible? We're in two different cities." Fantasy RPG characters can teleport between cities, which is often used to cycle between merchants when selling loot.
  • "Fortune's Bane" This is a reference to weapons like Mehrunes Razor which have a chance to kill anything. However, to make this weapon fair, the probability is really low, making the weapon largely useless.
  • Troll Loincloths are valuable. Fantasy RPGs need to continue rewarding you with loot from slain enemies, with more valuable loot for more difficult enemies. Sometimes this makes sense (dragon scales and magical crystal shards) and sometimes it doesn't (troll fat and giant's toes).