Secret Identity Crisis

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Secret Identity Crisis
YT SecretIdentityCrisis.jpg
Secret Identity Crisis Thumbnail
YouTube Link
Date Released July 27, 2015
Length 3:05
Game N/A

Secret Identity Crisis is a sketch that satirizes Marvel's and DC's current trend of "dark and gritty" heroes.

Description: "Superheroes these days just don't know how to have fun."


Actor Character
Kyle Sullivan Himself?
Ethan Gelinas Ballon Man
Matthew Welter Flying Man


The video starts with Ballon Man and Flying Man in a dark room, covering their faces. Kyle enters said room while talking to his phone, explaining to the person on the other side that the superheroes are having some identity problems lately, becoming very dark and moody. When he turns on the light, he sees both heroes looking sad. Kyle hangs up the call and greets the superheroes, asking if they can go fight crime.

Flying Man, with his hand on his chin, questions who are the real criminals. Sullivan responds that they are the people that commit crimes, and asks for both to brighten up and have some fun. Ballon Man comments that the last time he had fun was before "the accident". The screen starts to slowly blur as a flaskback begins, but Kyle immediately stops it by yelling, "No Flashbacks!"

Flying Man explains that life is difficult for superheroes, as they have a weight in their shoulders. Kyle mutters that he can fly, and Ballon Man adds that, while Flying Man has nothing to complain about, Ballon Man has a curse that no one can understand. Sullivan looks confused and outraged, exclaiming that he can spontaneously generate ballons. The hero simply responds by asking for how long will it take for him to eventually hurt someone.

Both superheroes then start to complain about their powers, as Ballon Man says that he can't give ballons to every children and Flying Man says that he might liquify the organs of everyone he saves with the sheer g-force of his flight. Kyle pleads Flying Man to stop trying to make his powers make sense, as they are scientifically impossible. The hero argues that he has the ability to manipulate gravitons, and that everything makes perfect sense with quantum theory and suspension of disbelief.

Ballon Man mutters that they are anomalies, but Kyle disagrees, saying that they are superheroes. He asks both to go wear brightly colored spandex, give themselves catchy, obvious names and yell puns at criminals. Flying Man comments that he can try to design a new uniform, though Kyle quickly stops him, correcting him by saying "costume". The hero continues, snapping his finger and saying that he has an excellent trenchcoat. Sullivan screams in protest, arguing against coats, leather and "normal people clothes". He simply asks them to use something brightly colored with an emblem in front of it. The two continue to argue about costumes until Ballon Man is seen again, now covered with ballons, finishing the video with the phrase: "I'm a monster".