Consulting Detectives

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Consulting Detectives
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Date Released March 6, 2017
Length 4:03
Game N/A

Consulting Detectives is a sketch that consists of two consulting detectives trying to work in the same case. Starring Kyle and Ethan as consulting detectives and Jefferey as the Police Chief required to fulfill this particular trope.

Description: "What's worse than an arrogant sociopath showing you up at a crime scene? Two of them competing for it."


Actor Character
Jefferey Neely Police Chief
Kyle Sullivan Consulting Detective 1
Ethan Gelinas Consulting Detective 2


The Police Chief is present at the crime scene of a murder, expounding that he has contacted a Consulting Detective. Consulting Detective 1 immediately appears, and gives the stereotypical fast-talking summary of the crime scene. Shortly after Consulting Detective 2 arrives as well. The Police Chief realizes his mistake in putting both of these characters in the same place at the same time, and explains that he keeps a few consulting detectives on hand due to their many flaws.

Both consulting detectives then argue about who is more flawed and unstable, but do eventually start working using their unique methods. Detective consultant 2 finds a mysterious vial behind a couch pillow and examines it carefully. Consulting Detective 1 grabs the vial and immediately licks it, citing his refined senses as justification to forgo chemical analysis or finger print searching. When pressed by the Police Chief, Consulting Detective 1 claims to have determined that the event took place at 2:23 on a Tuesday.

Consulting Detective 2 then proposes that Consulting Detective 1 committed the crime, and Consulting Detective 1 claims it was a serial killer in Canada or Sweden. Both consulting detectives then argue about who would be a better serial killer and continue squabbling, which escalates to a chess match. The Police Inspector then deconstructs the flaws of both characters and expels both detectives from the crime scene.

Finally, Consulting Detective 1 clarifies that, when the consulting detectives inevitably overstep their bounds and catch the real killer, that the Police Chief will obviously take them back like nothing ever happens. The Police Chief confirms this.

Explained Jokes[edit]

  • "There can't be two of us, it's not even a real job." Except in cases where specialization is required like steganography or cryptography, Law enforcement agencies rarely employ private investigators.


  • "I need something that you'll disagree with immediately, but then feel bad about when you're wrong." This lampshades a common trope in mystery shows, where a seemingly impossible theory is almost always correct rather than the simple and reasonable theory (suicide, accident or lupus, depending on genre).
  • Some audio equipment used for the scene is seen in the shot where Consulting Detective one uses BBC Sherlock Holmes vision to analyse the crime scene. The description reads "recording this audio."
  • Consulting Detective 1 appears immediately speaks quickly, claims to have heightened senses and a strange way of doing things. This character is a reference to many similar detectives like Sherlock Holmes or the Mentalist.
  • Consulting Detective 2 appears to music, is slightly awkward and has many nervous ticks. This character is a reference to Monk, an obsessive compulsive ex-detective.
  • "You'll take us back like nothing happened, right?" These detective shows are largely episodic, meaning that few mentions to previous episodes are made, making it appear like the Police Chief repeatedly forgets about the stunts the detective pulled in the previous episode.