Civ 6: Theological Combat
|Civ 6: Theological Combat|
Civ 6: Theological Combat Thumbnail
|Date Released||June 5, 2017|
Civ 6: Theological Combat is a Civilization sketch. In it, two missionaries fight over the conversion of a citizen.
Description: "Competing apostles try to educate the uncultured masses."
|Jefferey Neely||Boat Mormons Missionary|
|Ethan Gelinas||Denouncing Venice Missionary|
|Kyle Sullivan||Uncultured Citizen/Yoloism Missionary|
The video begins with a door knock. A moustache sporting citizen opens the door, revealing a Boat Mormon Missionary on the other side. The man quickly greets the citizen and asks for permission to tell him about his religion, to which the resident agrees, saying that "he only lives once, after all."
The missionary proceeds to list the religion's features and bonuses, though quickly gets interrupted by another apostle, who also greets the commoner and asks if he has already denounced his neighbor that day. The citizen answers that he was meaning to do it, but could not find the time. The Boat Mormon, however, angrily queries on what he's doing. The other missionary responds that he's telling the citizen about Denouncing Venice, a military-focused religion that features synagogues. The commoner, meanwhile, comments that while his father was a boat mormon, his mother was really into Denouncing Venice. The man then wonders on what that would make him, and speculates that it would probably involve gondolas. He then asks for the core tenets of each religion.
The Boat Mormon says that he does not know, while the Venice Denouncer declares that they hate Venice. The citizen, confused, asks for what is Venice, but does not get an answer, as the first missionary talks over the second, now telling him to back off. The Denouncer counters that they should let the "gentleman" decide for himself, however the Boat Mormon claims that he's part of the uncultured masses. The denizen simply says that he took a spanish class in high school.
With both missionaries getting increasingly frustrated, the conflict escalates to a Theological Combat. The two religious men change into apostle robes, and begin to fight each other with arguments and radiant powers. With each phrase, their magic grows more and more, culminating into powerful and potentially devasting beams of light, coming from both pious men and colliding.
Suddenly, the citizen from earlier appears at the scene, wearing a Spanish Inquisition-like robe. He tells the two about Yoloism, a religion that was founded in the city they are in. With a final bright attack, the Yoloist easily topples both, and comments that they also have pagodas. With this, the sketch ends.
- One of the first citizen's lines is "you only live once, after all." This is a foreshadow to the twist at the end of the sketch.
- The citizen gets confused about Venice because this civ does not exist in Civ 6.
- Pagodas are a type of boat that are most prominently seen in Venice. As such, they can be seen as the product of a hypothetical union between the Boat Mormons and Denouncing Venice.
- Running Gag: DM Religions.