Civ 5: I'm Not Invading You

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Civ 5: I'm Not Invading You
YT Civ5Border.jpg
Civ 5: I'm Not Invading You Thumbnail
YouTube Link
Date Released July 25, 2016
Length 2:15
Game Sid Meier's Civilization 5

Civ 5: I'm Not Invading You is a Civ V sketch revolving around a guard trying to protect his borders.

Description: "No really, I'm not casing your city, I'm just leaving my scout here for a while!"


Actor Character
Kyle Sullivan Guard
Ethan Gelinas Archer/Missionary/Settler/Swordsman


The video begins with a Guard standing still, protecting a border. Suddenly, an Archer (played by Ethan), appears right in front of it, claiming that he's just "standing there". The Guard immediately becomes suspicious and angry, telling the Archer to go away. The Archer refuses, and the Guard points his gun, saying that there's a warmongering nation behind him, and because of that, he will attack first, if needed.

The Archer calmly says that if the Guard attacks him, he will declare war in his entire country. Angrily, the Guard repeats, saying "War, we monger it!"

The Archer goes away, and the Guard returns to his position. No more than 5 seconds pass, however, and a missionary (also played by Ethan) pops up behind him, asking if he would like to hear more about the Boat Mormons. The Guard instantly freaks out and tells him that he just told him to leave. The missionary claims that it was another guy, and the Guard gets confused.

In the midst of the Guard's confusion, the Missionary "teleports" again, appearing inside the border. He tells the Guard that he's not invading him, since he just wants to expand his religion. The Guard still kicks him out, however, because they already have Denouncing Venice.

The missionary leaves, but a Settler (once again played by Ethan) appears. The Settler says that he's just settling some land, and the Guard gets even more furious, shooting him in the head. A Swordsman (again played by Ethan) immediately appears, claiming that the Guard has declared war on his empire. The warrior rushes towards the Guard, who shoots again.

The Swordsman suddenly disappears, and the Guard looks around, trying to find him. It turns out that the Swordsman has appeared right beside him, much to the outrage of the Guard, who screams "What, really?".

The sketch ends.

Explained Jokes[edit]

  • "War, we monger it!" is a joke with the word "warmonger".
  • The Guard said that he is now a Denouncing Venice but he asked the missionary to leave before ruining the Guard's chance of entering Boat Heaven
  • Once you passed or attack the other civ unit without open borders treaty you declared war.